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Drunk and Disorderly

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1Drunk and Disorderly Empty Drunk and Disorderly on Sun Oct 17, 2010 5:16 pm

Tanner Underhill, the sole halfling in service to the High Hold Militia, hiked his cloak's collar up on his neck and drew the rest around him in an attempt to ward off the chill evening breeze. The sun at its highest point made the region quite comfortable, but as the sun's rays faded and gave way to Selune and her tears, the chill wintery air had a way of slicing through all but the thickest materials. Tanner made a mental note to see Thacket about getting a fur lining sewn into his watch cloak. Sounds of raucous laughter caught a ride on the evening breeze, floating from the tavern down the street, causing the short halfling to wish the next two hours of his watch duty would pass a bit faster. Not that he was much of a partier, but a fire to warm the hands and a brandy to warm the bones sounded particularly enticing.

A sharp cracking and splintering followed by the dull thump of two hundred pounds of meat hitting pavement assaulted his ears, accompanied by a marked increase in the volume of laughter. His gaze snapped to the right, spotting a drunken patron sprawled out on the cobblestones in front of a now splintered tavern door.

"I telled ye! I telled ye didn't I?" an irate dwarven voice from inside...
"Hey! Take it outside you two! And someone's gonna pay for my door!" an equally irate bartender...

Tanner sighed, throwing his cloak back over his shoulders to free up his arms, and approached the tavern's door. The unruly patron had gotten to his feet by now and was turning to face the dwarf who had come out to meet him. Four fists, balled up in anticipation of a fight, and already loud drunken voices from within were taking bets on which of the two would win the fight.

"Stop right there!" Tanner barked, the sharp militaristic tone in his voice defusing the fight momentarily. At least, until the two would-be combatants saw who had spoken.

"Oy, this don't concern you, shorty! This be between us," the dwarf growled in response. In the split second the dwarf took to look at Tanner, the human--drunk though he was--seized the opportunity to launch a left hook at the dwarf's face. It connected with the sound of two large hams slapping together, but the dwarf didn't flinch. Didn't blink. Didn't even close his mouth. He simply turned back to the human, his lips twisting into a grin.

"Oh, so ye wanna dance, do ye?" the dwarf exploded into a frenzied flurry of punches and kicks, bowling over the human and turning them into a flailing tangle of arms and legs wrestling about in the dirty street. "Let's dance, ye sunnavanorc!"

"I said STOP!" Tanner barked, throwing his cloak wide and diving into the fray. His sword--still in its scabbard--found its way between the combatant's chests and he twisted, kicking out with one foot as he moved. Though shorter than the two and nowhere near as strong, he still had leverage on his side. The two separated, and Tanner's kick sent the human sliding back a foot and a half.

"Thison't connern you... This.. Don't. Concern you..." the human slurred as he staggered to his feet, nursing a nose that was already leaking blood.

The dwarf, for his part, simply scrambled on all fours and bull rushed Tanner, who planted a hand on the dwarf's head and vaulted neatly over him. The human, for reasons only a drunken mind could fathom, lunged in to attack the halfling as well. Tanner fell onto his back beneath the human's wildly groping arms. A shock of pain assaulted Tanner from his right arm as one of the man's clumsy steps--or perhaps a purposeful one--came down upon his elbow. He snapped his short legs straight up, squashing the man's groin with both heels, who promptly went down in a gagging heap.

The dwarf had gotten himself spun about by then and grabbed Tanner's ankles before he could rise. Heaving backwards, the dwarf lifted Tanner off the ground by his feet, upside-down. Deftly drawing a small blade by his wrist, Tanner neatly cut the dwarf's belt an instant before he found himself being hurled down into the pavement.

Tanner had tucked his head forward, sparing himself a broken neck, but still absorbed the impact in a rather painful fashion. He rolled to the side and the dwarf would have rushed to follow except that his pants--no longer supported by the belt--had fallen down around his feet. He shot his arms out in front of him to break his fall, which Tanner--conveniently on the ground waiting for him--gladly accepted. Darting about quickly, Tanner slapped his handcuffs onto the dwarf--one end on his wrist, the other around the opposite ankle.

"Bah! Bah!" The dwarf sputtered, flailing about with one arm and one leg, but the unorthodox position of the cuffs had left him twisted up and thoroughly helpless. Tanner crawled to his feet.

"Stay put," he ordered the dwarf. Shaking the pain out of his elbow, Tanner went over to investigate the human. The man was still rolling on the ground, clutching his groin with both hands, and barely put up any resistance at all as Tanner likewise handcuffed him as well.

His prisoners now secured, Tanner retrieved his cloak from the ground and again drew it tightly about his body.

"Come on you two. Maybe a night in a holding cell will sober you up," Tanner grumbled, annoyance readily apparent in his voice. With the assistance of a second watchman who had just arrived while investigating the commotion, the prisoners were taken into custody without further incident.

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